“Would you like to watch a show with me tonight?”, asks J.
But I’ve already made plans tonight… to lie on the couch, thinks Lisa.
“We could go for food before,” adds J.
Okay, says Lisa.
So that is how I’ve ended up going to a show tonight.
Because I’m a woman Because I’m a glutton Because I like free food. I will probably regret this in the morning when I’m struggling to complete Professional Negligence homework, but hey – that’s for future Lisa to worry. Now Lisa is single. Now Lisa will go out and have fun.
The hardest part about moving on, I find, is the sudden lack of communication between R and I. I mean, I have all these extra data on my phone now. They need to go somewhere.
Pornhub. Pornhub is always the answer. To my future employers: That was a joke. I have never watched porn in my life. Please do not Google “Malaysian lawyer/ reporter eating five guys in London”.
No contact is difficult, but waiting around for R to hurt me again is idiocy at its finest. So today, I took evasive action. I have permanently deleted his number from my phone (again), attempted to forget his email address (WHY IS IT SO SIMPLE!?), and threw out the cards he gave me (close eyes, pick up cards, put in bin, take out bin while eyes shut, walk into wall). I’ve also deleted all photos taken on our adventures, along with any messages, emails or pictures I’ve ever received from R. As of now, it’s as though R never existed – hooray! 🙂
As mentioned yesterday, I really could not have moved on this quickly without your support and well-wishes. (A former student sent me a message this morning saying she looked up to me, and that I was an inspiration. ME. An inspiration! Five-bananas-in-mouth-girl, inspiring people to do things!) I started
ranting writing again as a means to overcome loneliness, but I realize now that I was never lonely. I have you lot! You wonderful, amazing lot.
This was supposed to be a 30-day documentation (WHAT!? DON’T JUDGE ME) of recovery, but I daresay I am genuinely happy today, and it’s only day three. Perhaps I am stronger than I thought, after all. Perhaps all I needed was a little nudge from you.
Lisa’s (extended) moving on list:
annoyingtalking to friends. Because I’m never truly alone.
- Eat good food. By good, I mean proper tasty food. Life is too short for diets.
- I’ve started boxing lessons! It keeps me alert and focused.
- Take up dancing, says mum. Did you forget I got kicked out of dance class in Malaysia? I ask. That was when you were younger, she says. That was a year ago, I retort. Okay. Dance lessons then. I will learn to dance.
- Make more videos. Not those kind of videos. Although I have had requests (Note to perverts: Dig deeper on Pornhub).
- Be grateful. Every single day.